Roller coaster ride!

When I began considering weight loss surgery (wls), I searched high and low for blogs, vlogs, forums, etc about the pre-op journeys. I didn't have much luck, so decided to start my own, in hopes to help others (one day) on what to expect along the way. Now I know why I didn't have much luck...the process is a slow and sucky one! It is such an emotional rollercoaster filled with uncertainties!

I had a few more psych visits since I last posted. She has been really helpful as we have worked our way through the Beck Diet. It is a 30 day behavior modification program/book. It's awesome! I have lost 14.5 pounds since I began my wls trip!

I visited the surgeon my doctor recommended. He was knowledgeable and friendly. It wasn't as earth shattering as I anticipated...just another doctor visit. I "picked" my surgery...gastric bypass. I can always change, but needed a definite procedure to start the paperwork process.

I didn't have a ton of questions, but wondered why it wasn't standard to remove gallbladders as a common side affect is gallstones. He explained that they would if it was necessary, but it is always best to do the least invasive surgery to promote healing. They would do an ultrasound beforehand to see if it is needed. He also snuck in "gallbladders fear me" which left me laughing for days!

The other question I had was about the pre-op diet. I was told that or the 2 weeks before surgery to use whatever kind of diet I chose to lose as much weight as possible. No need to go on full liquids, unless I choose to. Um...hell no! I won't be doing that if I don't HAVE to...I'll get enough of the liquid diet post-op!

The insurance coordinator was gone at that time, so she called me yesterday. I am nervous that everything won't come together and that my doctor supervised diet and exercise isn't what the insurance needs/wants. My doctor has done this before, so I should be at peace, but I am a nervous Nelly! This is alot of work and money to be spent on a denial!

While I should be thrilled about my progress to this point (and I kinda am) it is overshadowed by doubt and what if's.

• What if I "waste" time and money and no surgery? 
• What if I should just use a dietician and/or psychologist and try one more time? 
• What if I am denied and don't lose any weight? What if I am denied and have to battle for a few more years to get approved? 
• What if everything goes as planned AND I still don't lose weight?

Ya...like I said, I'm a worrier! Hmpf!