Roller coaster ride!

When I began considering weight loss surgery (wls), I searched high and low for blogs, vlogs, forums, etc about the pre-op journeys. I didn't have much luck, so decided to start my own, in hopes to help others (one day) on what to expect along the way. Now I know why I didn't have much luck...the process is a slow and sucky one! It is such an emotional rollercoaster filled with uncertainties!

I had a few more psych visits since I last posted. She has been really helpful as we have worked our way through the Beck Diet. It is a 30 day behavior modification program/book. It's awesome! I have lost 14.5 pounds since I began my wls trip!

I visited the surgeon my doctor recommended. He was knowledgeable and friendly. It wasn't as earth shattering as I anticipated...just another doctor visit. I "picked" my surgery...gastric bypass. I can always change, but needed a definite procedure to start the paperwork process.

I didn't have a ton of questions, but wondered why it wasn't standard to remove gallbladders as a common side affect is gallstones. He explained that they would if it was necessary, but it is always best to do the least invasive surgery to promote healing. They would do an ultrasound beforehand to see if it is needed. He also snuck in "gallbladders fear me" which left me laughing for days!

The other question I had was about the pre-op diet. I was told that or the 2 weeks before surgery to use whatever kind of diet I chose to lose as much weight as possible. No need to go on full liquids, unless I choose to. Um...hell no! I won't be doing that if I don't HAVE to...I'll get enough of the liquid diet post-op!

The insurance coordinator was gone at that time, so she called me yesterday. I am nervous that everything won't come together and that my doctor supervised diet and exercise isn't what the insurance needs/wants. My doctor has done this before, so I should be at peace, but I am a nervous Nelly! This is alot of work and money to be spent on a denial!

While I should be thrilled about my progress to this point (and I kinda am) it is overshadowed by doubt and what if's.

• What if I "waste" time and money and no surgery? 
• What if I should just use a dietician and/or psychologist and try one more time? 
• What if I am denied and don't lose any weight? What if I am denied and have to battle for a few more years to get approved? 
• What if everything goes as planned AND I still don't lose weight?

Ya...like I said, I'm a worrier! Hmpf!

WOOHOO!!

That's right...10 POUNDS LOST!

It's been a busy week of appts for me! On Tuesday, I had another psych visit. Wow...that was fun to have her stroke my ego. She was happy with my progress and helped me set some goals to get back on track with exercise. (After a week of sick kiddos, I fell off the exercise bandwagon. HARD!) I have 2 standing appointments and she told me to wait and not schedule anymore just yet. honestly, I like the accountability that the psych visits have offered me.

Then, there is the other end of the spectrum...the dietician. My first (and only???) visit was today. I am NOT impressed! She was unorganized, spoke down at me, and didn't provide realistic guidelines. She had some advice on WHAT to do, but gave no suggestions on HOW to do it/techniques/plan/etc. She noted that I had successfully lost weight on a 1700 calorie diet, but suggested that I follow a 1200 calorie diet about every other day. Whatever lady!

She thinks that by following a 1200 calorie diet, it would show that I could truly be disciplined after surgery. So, I can use my "willpower" to follow a post-op diet WITHOUT the restriction?! Hello! If I could follow a 1200 diet long-term, I wouldn't need to have surgery. In addition, maybe you could offer some follow up care!

However, when I asked her how frequently she suggested we meet...are you ready for this....she said that she typically meets with pre-op patients once. ONCE! That is MESSED up!!

Mindful Eating

I swear, this has to be the hardest thing ever! My "Beck Diet" assignment was to be a mindful eater. To thoroughly chew each and every bite and to pause 10 seconds between bites. Seriously!?! While I know that this is important, IT IS SO HARD!

I am constantly reminding myself to "DO IT ANYWAYS!" A reminder that is suggested multiple times throughout the book.

Here's a link it you want to check the book out! The Beck Diet and The Beck Diet Workbook...you only need one or the other...I bought both.

Reschedule, Reschedule, Reschedule

Man...that's annoying!

I had an appointment scheduled to see the dietician on Monday at 9:30...got a call a few moments before I was scheduled to head out the door. The dietician had an emergency and needed to reschedule until Tues...same time. So....off to work I went. Upon returning home, there was another message asking to reschedule to Wed at 8:30. GRRRR...kiddos don't have school, so I had to make arrangements for someone to watch them.

WEEELLLLL....as luck would have it, Wednesday morning comes along (today) and my lovely daughter awoke with a fever. The dietician, of course, has a "crazy" schedule and won't be at my clinic for two weeks.

I had a little panic attack because one of the insurance requirements is 6 consecutive months of weights. That would leave a gap in MONTH TWO. While making an appt for my daughter, I had them check and the psych did indeed enter a weight at our last visit, so...all is well again.

My hubby even commented how long this process has been and wished (for me) that this wasn't so difficult. It hasn't been difficult, per say. Though, it is WAY more appts then I'm used to, paired with mistaken appts and rescheduling.

Another "first"

This week was my first trip to the psychologist! It really wasn't as bad as I envisioned. For this visit, it was basically taking an inventory if I exhibited signs of depression, mania, OCD, anxiety, paranoia, phobias, substance abuse, etc. She told me nothing that I didn't already know...I worry too much and have an all or nothing mentality. I think I actually USED those exact phrases myself in our visit! LOL!

She suggested 2 programs for our visits. The first one is called the LEARN program. A recommended curriculum by some major hospitals in our area. I am going to call and see if MY surgeon requires this specific program. It combines nutrition and psychological topics.

The other program she recommended was called The Beck Diet. I instantly fell in love with this approach to using a psychological approach to weight loss. Let's face it, I KNOW about nutrition...it's my head that needs to be able to apply my knowledge. I look forward to figuring all that "stuff" out!

Oh...I have had an awesome eating and exercising week. Since my first visit,a month ago, I think I have lost 5.5 pounds! YAY ME! I especially find that AMAZING in light of the floods that struck my town causing a stressful, expensive and emotionally draining time!

A jumble of updates...and more visits!

I am proud to report that all by blood work came back good! I must admit that I am amazed!

I had my first EVER psychologist appointment on Monday. It was AWESOME! Within the first 2 minutes, the Dr. asked if I was there for a gastric bypass eval. I said I was exploring my weight loss surgery options and that, in the end, I would like an eval. She apologized, but said she couldn't help me.

She was in the process of becoming qualified or using the specific assessment tool that they used, but at this time was not qualified. All in all, I appreciated her honesty (and the fact that she assured me that I wouldn't be charged for the visit.) The receptionist had misread the instructions and set up an appointment with the wrong person.

She was gracious and helped me set up appointments with someone whom WAS able to do the specific type of assessment that I needed. As I was on the phone with the "qualified" psychologist's receptionist, she shared that she was 3 years gastric bypass post op. She LOVED sharing and said she would do it again in a New York minute. She had lost 100 pounds and was off her diabetes meds in 2 months...a very happy patient.

I have an appointment with the new psychologist next week. Should be interesting!

New POA???

I met with my family doctor today. Being from a SMALL town, this amazing gal does it all! She has seen me threw all of my pregnancies, delivered my babies, takes care of my sniffles, etc.

When I began this journey, she was the first person I set up an appt with. However, being the impatient person I am, I went ahead and scheduled my visits with the surgeon.

We did our annual (well....a few years MORE than annual for me) visit and chit chatted the whole time. I told her that I had went to an initial visit with the surgeon. She looked at me with a solemn face and shook her head "no".

"Really?" I  said.

"No."

Ah, man!!! My plan shot out of the water???

I genuinely trust my doctor. She has been my doc for over 11 years. She looks out for the best interest of my family. She has also referred my family to the best doctors when they have needed specialized care (and trust me.....we've needed it!)


She was concerned about a number of things including experience, skill, etc. She has worked with Dr. L AND has seen his patients post-op (for other laproscopic procedures.) She hasn't been impressed. :(

However, she did have advice. She has worked with another surgeon with tons more experience, a good bedside manner, etc. While he is a much farther drive away, I would only have to make a couple trips out to see him. She talked to me about the plan of getting the required visits in and shared experiences of other patients. She said she could set something up for me to talk to those whom have gone through the process themselves.

One thing she mentioned was that all of her patients that started out wanted to get a lapband had ended up getting a gastric bypass. WHAT? I told her that I didn't think I could live that lifestyle. Honestly, I didn't have a WHOLE lot of points to back up my argument, but a gastric bypass seemed so.....um, permanent! I worried about rerouting my intestines and losing weight so quickly. She assured me that the lapband truly is permanent to be effective. One would have to have another procedure to remove it or to fix it if a problem would occur. While I never hoped to have those issues, in my head, I kinda think that it gave me the option to try something else IF it didn't work. Really, I don't have options! I HAVE to make whatever decision I make work! This IS permanent!

I shared my concern about insurance and she looked at my records and I had been there within 2 years and by bmi was 40 then. (yay!?!) Just a few days before my visit, I came in to get a tetanus shot and the doc put me on high blood pressure meds. (YUCK!) She said that this would also be beneficial in the approval process.

Before I left, we set up a plan for visits within the next few months. I set up a lab appointment for tomorrow and will get a call once the other visits have been set up.